I got nothin', y'all, so I stole this idea from my sweet Jay, who stole it from somebody else. We're kinda shifty that way.
It's an F-List...basically, things that piss me off on either a daily basis, or just today. But because I'm feeling rather generous these days (shut up Efen), I'm including the antithesis to the F-List. Call it the H-List...things that make me happy, too. Because let's face it...nothing makes me happier than things that piss me off.
F-cold weather in the morning and at night, and freaking 65 and sunny in the afternoon. What am I supposed to wear?
H-cold weather, period. I love it when it starts getting cold after 5 months of blazing heat and humidity. It makes my make-up stay fresher longer. (Hey, these are things that make ME happy. So what if my reasons are weird.)
F-Kids dressed up in UN-Halloween costumes. ie: The fat kid dressed in a black turtleneck and black stretch pants...."Hi, I'm Johnny Cash." My ass, Johnny Cash. Here's a South Beach bar, Johnny. Live it up.
H-Tiny babies dressed up as pumpkins and ladybugs....awww!
F-My stupid knee that is killing me right now....I have no antithesis to this one. It flippin' HURTS, and I'm old and low on medication.
H-Clorox Bleachman finally gets voted off "Dancing With The Stars". Seriously. It's like week 10 or something.
F-I need to get my nails done.
H-I'm getting my nails done!
F-Paris Hilton's My New BFF. If she could be more vapid.
H-Rock Of Love Charm School with Sharon Osbourne. OMG. So trashy and hilarious. Loves it!
F-People with a sense of entitlement for NO REASON. Ugh...assholes!
H-People who I originally think are going to piss me off, but prove me wrong by turning out to be so sweet and kind...and it humbles me every single time. (I need that.)
F-"Rocktober". I'm over it. I was over it in 1989. It's NOT Rocktober, ok?
H-"Make You Feel My Love", by Adele. Amazing.
F-Life is hard, y'all.
H-Blue Moon on tap. Life is good, y'all!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Hooked Up
Well....I've sort of got my stupid internet/wireless issues taken care of. And by "sort of" I mean that I'm connected again, but I can't go far with the laptop. Not a problem, I'm perfectly happy to have a working connection and figure I can work on that "wireless" part whenever I get a chance. The computer guy still hasn't shown his face, but evidently I had a back-up in the wings. My "friend" (ahem) came over this weekend and, um, got me going again. AND he fixed my internet! (kidding...geez...you people have filthy minds. ok I'm not really kidding, but you still have filthy minds, which is why you're all my friends.) We suspect that my router has gone stupid, and I'll just pick up another one. In the meantime, I'm happily blogging from my own home again without benefit of dial-up. Efen, you can find something else to make fun of now...which I'm sure won't be a problem for you. (It's killing him that he doesn't know more about this "friend", y'all ;) Hehe.
Today is my day off, but I still have to go in to work for a couple of hours this afternoon. I'd scheduled myself the rare "2 days off in a row" only to find that I've got a conference call at 2:30 and I've left all my materials at work. Better to not simply "wing it" this time, I figure....plus I get the added bonus of showing up unannounced, which always freaks them out. I so love that part!
Just checking in for now....so good to be back :)
Today is my day off, but I still have to go in to work for a couple of hours this afternoon. I'd scheduled myself the rare "2 days off in a row" only to find that I've got a conference call at 2:30 and I've left all my materials at work. Better to not simply "wing it" this time, I figure....plus I get the added bonus of showing up unannounced, which always freaks them out. I so love that part!
Just checking in for now....so good to be back :)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Crazy, and not in the good way.
So, yeah, I guess my "computer guy" who owes me all these "favors" because I've been such an Optical Princess in hooking him up with some awesome eyewear, now thinks we're "even", because I can't even get him to return a text, much less a phone call. Granted, I do recall him saying something about going on a cruise. Nevertheless (I fucking hate that word), he is unavailable to me at this time. Perhaps my mad eyewear skillz are not as impressive as I might have once thought.
Yes, I work in the year 1950, where we don't have internet. Yes, my doctor, who works right next door, DOES have internet. But does he care to share? No. He's "secure" and does not look kindly upon thieving, evidently. Bastard. So guess who's on dial-up, besides Honeywine? That's right...and I can hear Efen laughing his ass off all the way from the God-fearing Midwest. But hey, I can pretend like it's olden times and live with it for a few days until I can get my shit together. Besides, you people have been clamoring for an update, and you know how I hate to disappoint ;)
My special place in hell is officially reserved, but the good news is, at least I'll be in good company. The other night I was out with a "friend" (ahem) and we'd gone out for a drink, choosing a local restaurant with a bar so that we might sneak in an appetizer if the mood so hit. (It did.) While we were enjoying our cocktails, we were entertained by our waif-like bartenderess, who was sporting an especially unflattering pixie-type, 12 year old boy, $7 barbershop hair butchering. (Yeah, I know I'm a bitch. But wait...it gets worse.) It wasn't like a Posh Spice Bevery Hills/London supermodel pixie mop, either...it was literally a "I tried to trim my hair with a chainsaw and this is what happened" look. And, being that the friend and I are utterly flawless, we saw no harm in snickering and giggling and making fun in general at her expense, under our breath, of course. (We hoped.) And because we're in the 7th grade, it was even more fun. During the course of the evening and a few odd bar conversations with her, we learned that she'd been a vegetarian since she was a teenager. Personally, I'd starve. My friend was fascinated by this ("Don't you ever just crave a big piece of red meat?") and proceeded to ask her a few questions in general about vegetarianism.
"So, do you practice the whole lifestyle, you know, no leather wearing, and things like that?"
"Oh, no. In fact, one year for Thanksgiving I made a ham for everyone, and had some, and it was like SO GOOD." (Well yeah...that's what pigs are put on the earth for, he said to to me later...to roll around in the mud and then be ham.)
"So, I guess you eat stuff to make up for not eating meat, you know, nutritionally, right? I mean, you're just healthy in general, I suppose."
(pay attention now)
"Well, yeah, I'm healthy. You know, except for having a brain tumor and going through chemo this year."
Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!! Did she just say CHEMO?????
The friend just kept talking normally, while I gave her the "oh, my" fake concerned look. Not that I'm happy about her going through chemo, I just really don't want to get involved in THAT whole story at this point in my life. (bitch bitch bitch) After a few minutes she walks away, and he and I turn to each other and we're both talking at the same time in fervent whispers "Holy shit! No way! We're going to hell! Jesus! I can't believe we made fun of her! That's what we get! But still, that haircut is fug. We suck!"
And to make matters even worse...that place didn't even have Blue Moon on tap. Perhaps if we all drank more, the world would be a better place and people with brain tumors wouldn't be made fun of. Let's give it a shot, shall we?
Yes, I work in the year 1950, where we don't have internet. Yes, my doctor, who works right next door, DOES have internet. But does he care to share? No. He's "secure" and does not look kindly upon thieving, evidently. Bastard. So guess who's on dial-up, besides Honeywine? That's right...and I can hear Efen laughing his ass off all the way from the God-fearing Midwest. But hey, I can pretend like it's olden times and live with it for a few days until I can get my shit together. Besides, you people have been clamoring for an update, and you know how I hate to disappoint ;)
My special place in hell is officially reserved, but the good news is, at least I'll be in good company. The other night I was out with a "friend" (ahem) and we'd gone out for a drink, choosing a local restaurant with a bar so that we might sneak in an appetizer if the mood so hit. (It did.) While we were enjoying our cocktails, we were entertained by our waif-like bartenderess, who was sporting an especially unflattering pixie-type, 12 year old boy, $7 barbershop hair butchering. (Yeah, I know I'm a bitch. But wait...it gets worse.) It wasn't like a Posh Spice Bevery Hills/London supermodel pixie mop, either...it was literally a "I tried to trim my hair with a chainsaw and this is what happened" look. And, being that the friend and I are utterly flawless, we saw no harm in snickering and giggling and making fun in general at her expense, under our breath, of course. (We hoped.) And because we're in the 7th grade, it was even more fun. During the course of the evening and a few odd bar conversations with her, we learned that she'd been a vegetarian since she was a teenager. Personally, I'd starve. My friend was fascinated by this ("Don't you ever just crave a big piece of red meat?") and proceeded to ask her a few questions in general about vegetarianism.
"So, do you practice the whole lifestyle, you know, no leather wearing, and things like that?"
"Oh, no. In fact, one year for Thanksgiving I made a ham for everyone, and had some, and it was like SO GOOD." (Well yeah...that's what pigs are put on the earth for, he said to to me later...to roll around in the mud and then be ham.)
"So, I guess you eat stuff to make up for not eating meat, you know, nutritionally, right? I mean, you're just healthy in general, I suppose."
(pay attention now)
"Well, yeah, I'm healthy. You know, except for having a brain tumor and going through chemo this year."
Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!! Did she just say CHEMO?????
The friend just kept talking normally, while I gave her the "oh, my" fake concerned look. Not that I'm happy about her going through chemo, I just really don't want to get involved in THAT whole story at this point in my life. (bitch bitch bitch) After a few minutes she walks away, and he and I turn to each other and we're both talking at the same time in fervent whispers "Holy shit! No way! We're going to hell! Jesus! I can't believe we made fun of her! That's what we get! But still, that haircut is fug. We suck!"
And to make matters even worse...that place didn't even have Blue Moon on tap. Perhaps if we all drank more, the world would be a better place and people with brain tumors wouldn't be made fun of. Let's give it a shot, shall we?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thieving Internet Stealer
Is it REALLY stealing if someone else's wireless signal finds its way into MY house? I say no. Besides, the connection isn't all that great, but it'll work for now. My brother was Lola-sitting for me last week and he had no problem connecting his own laptop. And my laptop had no problem connecting at the hotel. So wtf? I still can't get into my own wireless, so screw it. I've got things to do.
I had a great week in Harrisonburg. The new manager, once he gets his shit together, will do very well. Having no optical experience is a mind-blower for me...I can't imagine having to learn all that AND learn how to work within a new company at the same time. He'll do fine, though, once he gets over his hesitation of optics. He's also got 2 new people who are training at the same time as he is....which = nonstop questions and nonstop issues, but they're smart hires. What they've REALLY got going for them is that they have moi as their trainer. Oh yeah...don't worry, they know they're lucky ;) We had a lot of fun in spite of how exhausted I was by the end of the week. Got home last night, unable to completely unwind, and stayed up really late. I made up for it today, however, by breaking my own personal nap record. It's a good day :)
I have a report to compile and get emailed, but I'm not feeling it just yet. I also have laundry to do, some light housekeeping, a whole week's worth of General Hospitals on DVR, and tomorrow I'm going shopping. Yeah...you know which of those tasks are getting priority treatment :)
I had a great week in Harrisonburg. The new manager, once he gets his shit together, will do very well. Having no optical experience is a mind-blower for me...I can't imagine having to learn all that AND learn how to work within a new company at the same time. He'll do fine, though, once he gets over his hesitation of optics. He's also got 2 new people who are training at the same time as he is....which = nonstop questions and nonstop issues, but they're smart hires. What they've REALLY got going for them is that they have moi as their trainer. Oh yeah...don't worry, they know they're lucky ;) We had a lot of fun in spite of how exhausted I was by the end of the week. Got home last night, unable to completely unwind, and stayed up really late. I made up for it today, however, by breaking my own personal nap record. It's a good day :)
I have a report to compile and get emailed, but I'm not feeling it just yet. I also have laundry to do, some light housekeeping, a whole week's worth of General Hospitals on DVR, and tomorrow I'm going shopping. Yeah...you know which of those tasks are getting priority treatment :)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
How Well Do You Know Me?
I totally stole this off a blog I stalk, The McMommy Chronicles, and thought it sounded like fun. So have at it, why don't you?
How well do YOU know me?
Do I speak a second language?
Am I a cat lover or dog lover?
Do I smoke?
What is my favorite alcoholic beverage?
Color of my eyes?
Do I have any siblings?
Have I had braces?
What's my favorite type of music?
How tall am I?
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
What is my middle name?
Am I right handed or left handed?
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring?
There's no great prize at the end for the winner, other than knowing way more about me than anyone cares about. Lucky!
How well do YOU know me?
Do I speak a second language?
Am I a cat lover or dog lover?
Do I smoke?
What is my favorite alcoholic beverage?
Color of my eyes?
Do I have any siblings?
Have I had braces?
What's my favorite type of music?
How tall am I?
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
What is my middle name?
Am I right handed or left handed?
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring?
There's no great prize at the end for the winner, other than knowing way more about me than anyone cares about. Lucky!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Hotels-Dot-Laura
Yeah, thus far I'm unimpressed with the Harrisonburg Hampton Inn. Aside from that whole cookie thing.
First, when I checked in last night, there seems to have been some issue with there not being some sort of "confirmation number" on file for my company's credit card. So? I'm doing the big sighs and the eye rolls of someone who has been traveling all morning and working all afternoon, and I'm in no mood to argue with the 20 year old desk clerk who didn't bother to come out of the back room to check me in until the phone at the desk starting ringing 50 times. I can't reach my travel person, I'm pissed but getting ready to pull out my personal credit card, when she says "I'll let you stay, just have them fax the confirmation in the morning." Gee, thanks for letting me stay, honey. Now show me where the fuckin' cookies are.
Anyway, I get up to my room, and it's hot and stuffy, so I immediately turn the A/C down to arctic and start looking around. I always have to investigate the cleanliness first. If I find a hair on a pillow, I'm moving to another room. This one looks ok, without benefit of a black light (although if I pulled one of those out, I suspect I'd be sleeping in my car), but then I spot something suspicious. Hanging out of the drawer of the nightstand is a washcloth. WTF? Upon further investigation, it appears that said washcloth had been used for dusting purposes, and then somehow became snagged upon the corner of the drawer, and just left there. Huh? Whatever. I threw it in the bathroom floor. I have this thing about hotel washcloths too. See, I love them. They're not to0 thick, not too thin, not too soft or too scratchy...and they're white. Perfect. I have a vast collection of them at home and feel certain I will be adding a few little gems on this trip as well.
My room is also without a mini-fridge. I thought that was pretty much standard these days? I need a mini-fridge! I'm not a coffee drinker, but I do require caffeine in the mornings. In this case, it would have been a Diet Coke. Fine, I got up early, threw on some sweats and dragged on down to the vending area on my floor. (Of course I'm at the very end of the hall....so when I'm trudging down there it looks like that scene in "The Shining" with all the doors on either side, and it seems to just keep getting longer and longer the further I walk.) I get down there, get some ice, and the fucking Coke machine doesn't work. SON OF A BITCH. I'm not going to down to the lobby, as I have just literally fallen out of bed, so right now I'm sucking down a plastic cup full of ice water, from the bottle I had stashed in my purse for exactly this kind of emergency.
So if I'm a little bitchy, that'd be why. (Ok, hehe, yeah, we'll go with that.) Plus, you know, being in a strange hotel room by myself, I didn't sleep that well. And I have no caffeine. And evidently they don't bring the cookies up to your door, either. Bitches.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
First, when I checked in last night, there seems to have been some issue with there not being some sort of "confirmation number" on file for my company's credit card. So? I'm doing the big sighs and the eye rolls of someone who has been traveling all morning and working all afternoon, and I'm in no mood to argue with the 20 year old desk clerk who didn't bother to come out of the back room to check me in until the phone at the desk starting ringing 50 times. I can't reach my travel person, I'm pissed but getting ready to pull out my personal credit card, when she says "I'll let you stay, just have them fax the confirmation in the morning." Gee, thanks for letting me stay, honey. Now show me where the fuckin' cookies are.
Anyway, I get up to my room, and it's hot and stuffy, so I immediately turn the A/C down to arctic and start looking around. I always have to investigate the cleanliness first. If I find a hair on a pillow, I'm moving to another room. This one looks ok, without benefit of a black light (although if I pulled one of those out, I suspect I'd be sleeping in my car), but then I spot something suspicious. Hanging out of the drawer of the nightstand is a washcloth. WTF? Upon further investigation, it appears that said washcloth had been used for dusting purposes, and then somehow became snagged upon the corner of the drawer, and just left there. Huh? Whatever. I threw it in the bathroom floor. I have this thing about hotel washcloths too. See, I love them. They're not to0 thick, not too thin, not too soft or too scratchy...and they're white. Perfect. I have a vast collection of them at home and feel certain I will be adding a few little gems on this trip as well.
My room is also without a mini-fridge. I thought that was pretty much standard these days? I need a mini-fridge! I'm not a coffee drinker, but I do require caffeine in the mornings. In this case, it would have been a Diet Coke. Fine, I got up early, threw on some sweats and dragged on down to the vending area on my floor. (Of course I'm at the very end of the hall....so when I'm trudging down there it looks like that scene in "The Shining" with all the doors on either side, and it seems to just keep getting longer and longer the further I walk.) I get down there, get some ice, and the fucking Coke machine doesn't work. SON OF A BITCH. I'm not going to down to the lobby, as I have just literally fallen out of bed, so right now I'm sucking down a plastic cup full of ice water, from the bottle I had stashed in my purse for exactly this kind of emergency.
So if I'm a little bitchy, that'd be why. (Ok, hehe, yeah, we'll go with that.) Plus, you know, being in a strange hotel room by myself, I didn't sleep that well. And I have no caffeine. And evidently they don't bring the cookies up to your door, either. Bitches.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
Monday, October 13, 2008
HA!
I'm cheating the internet connection bastards who are making it impossible to enjoy my blogworld (in addition to everything else I can't manage to get done via Blackberry), because this week I'm in Harrisonburg, VA, training a new manager and *taaaa daaaa* I'm able to connect here in my hotel room. Maybe when I get home I'll just move into the Hampton Inn. That'll solve a lot of my problems, huh? So this week I plan to catch up with everyone and internet my ass off while I can. Plus, I'm jacking around on the company's dime and only have to do half the work. HA! Kidding...I do have to do some work. Probably a lot of work. But, I have internet, and a king-size bed, and even more pillows than I have at home. And fresh-baked cookies in the lobby every night. Take THAT, unconnected wireless bitches. (Yeah, I had a martini at dinner.)
Ok, the desk is literally right next to the 50 mph wind that is coming out of the A/C right now, and I have things to do. Like get cookies. And lollygag around. And jump on the bed. And stuff.
More later, y'all!
Ok, the desk is literally right next to the 50 mph wind that is coming out of the A/C right now, and I have things to do. Like get cookies. And lollygag around. And jump on the bed. And stuff.
More later, y'all!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Part-Time Bloggy, Full-Time Bitchy
So Efen's all pissy, right? Because I'm dragging my ass on getting my whatever-the-hell-is-broken thingy fixed in order to get my wireless to connect. So yeah, it hasn't been my #1 priority over the last couple of weeks, because I have other shit to do. And guess what? I get WAY more done now! Not that I don't miss my laptop, and not that I won't eventually get up and running again. For now, though, I'm a part-time blogger with only half the time to bitch about the retardedness that is my life.
I do visit almost everyone, and almost every day. And sometimes I try to leave comments, only to spend 15 minutes getting my carpel tunnel on and then having the comment not go through for some flippin' reason.
I just wanted to say hi, let y'all know again that I do miss you, and to ask everyone if they could kindly comment the hell out of Efen's page so he'll quit tormenting Jenny Fabulous about "where the fuck is Elle?" all the time. Please?
Oh, and I think I have another stalker. The GOOD kind this time. Woohoo! Here's hoping the restraining order judge doesn't get to meet this one! ;)
I do visit almost everyone, and almost every day. And sometimes I try to leave comments, only to spend 15 minutes getting my carpel tunnel on and then having the comment not go through for some flippin' reason.
I just wanted to say hi, let y'all know again that I do miss you, and to ask everyone if they could kindly comment the hell out of Efen's page so he'll quit tormenting Jenny Fabulous about "where the fuck is Elle?" all the time. Please?
Oh, and I think I have another stalker. The GOOD kind this time. Woohoo! Here's hoping the restraining order judge doesn't get to meet this one! ;)
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