MEN: Listen up.
I really don't care who you are. You could be Brad Pitt, George Clooney, the vampire guy from Twilight, the hottest piece of ass in Wayne County (hehe...shout out to J-Fab!) or even Efen. But ESPECIALLY if you happen to NOT be one of those people, here is what I don't want to hear out of your fucking mouth when I'm shopping at the grocery store late in the evening:
"Mmmm mmm mmmm. I bet you taste as sweet as you look."
Ohhhhhhh hell no.
I'm still pissed off. And had it not been for the fact that it was 9:00 at night and I was alone, and he was majorly on the scary side, I would have beat his fucking ass (verbally, anyway, with maybe some sharp pointy nail action to the eyeballs thrown in just to make myself feel better) right there in the bread aisle.
Generally, this particular come-on line does not a successful pick-up make. Just an FYI for ya there, in case you were wondering.
And if you still think this is a good idea and have any questions, feel free to LET ME FUCKING KNOW.
'Kay?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
24 Ramble on, y'all....:
Oh shit, what a loser. And I thought, "I have a pool in my basement was bad." Gross. You should have started picking your nose and farted next to him !!! I find that is a good scary guy deterent.
Ewww! No he did not!
Seriously, do they think you're going to drop everything and bang them in the parking lot based on that super-sexy comment?!?
Amazing, these people...
Would this line have worked on anyone? Not even when I was much younger and had loose morals!
I KNOW!!! I mean, seriously, has that shit EVER worked???
Unbelievable.
Some men are such losers. Did he look like he was inbred?
Maybe that remark worked on his sister once, but on a total stranger?
Men are so dumb.
If I could grow a penis out of my hand I wouldn't even need a man.
(Well, I'd keep Mr.Man but only because I love him and mushy things like that.)
I believe that's just the hazards of shopping at that particular store. Blech!
LOLOLOLOL@ "Mmmm mmm mmmm. I bet you taste as sweet as you look."
You got to be fucking kidding me...WTF? I swear, honestly, I have NEVER, EVER, even thought of using something like...geez.
Now...if he woulda said "Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns"...well, then I'd say "Smoooooth" ;)
ROFLMAO.... Thanks for the info. I'm gonna scratch that pick-up line from my list of potential flirting lines.
Oh....btw..You KNOW I was J/K 'bout the 'ring thing' on my page...right?? Huh, honey...huh?
Oh... just for the record you didn't strip down and jump him right in the middle of the store anyway, did you? Just saying if it worked I might leave it in the list.
AND IF....I could grow a....aw, nevermind (See Elle... thats how much respect I have for you and your page :)
That line usually works for me.
Not as often as "Nice shoes, wanna f**k?" does. ;-)
I had lunch today with Gator girl and Gigi - and this post was the first thing they were talking about! Momma should have been there to kick some ass fer ya!!
We all did say how we HAVE to get you down here for a visit!!!
The Girl: hehehe..."pool in my basement"...jeez, that's lame ;)
MsPulp: Oh, it was so incredibly gross. And the "mmm mmm mmm" part even more so....*shiver*
Trisha: I could have taken a bath in a vat of Grey Goose and still not have been even tempted.
Blonde Goddess: roflmaaaaooooo....!!!
ETW: I knew you'd know what I was talking about!
Efen: LOL...like I said on your page, you know I have no use for cheap jewelry ;)
Ron: Well...that's kind of the part I left out. I immediately said "Come on baby" and we went at it right there. So yeah, leave it in.
Jay: Why'd you have to go and tell everybody how we met?
Momma: Lmao! I love being a topic of lunch conversation with my girls! So jealous...I know you had fun!
EWWWWWWW....GROSS! Seriously?!?!?!!
Ewwwwww...that's all I have to say!!
btw - we really wished you were at lunch with us...you Girl, & ETW & maybe EFEN too....
You tell him Sista!!! What an a**hole...You should gave him some nail action...Make the fucker bleed!!!!
LOL
EWWWWWW!!!
I know what you are talking about.
My favorite response to use is "UGH Oh god I think I just threw up in my mouth" *making vomiting motion*
They usually leave or I use the "Oh No enlgish, sotty." LOL
TGG: You know we're so getting kicked out of whatever restaurant is unlucky enough to host this future event ;)
Suzie: I love how you think "a**hole" might offend, but then call him a "fucker" anyway...LOL...that's hilarious!
Loni: He was so gross, but more than that, he was SCARY...so as much as I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp, it was probably best that I just moved along ;)
ahhhh....Tracy McHotAss. He IS the hottest piece of ass in Wayne County. Fun times.
Thanks for the shout out, Mama!
Fuckin rednecks.
TGG: WTF???......"MAYBE Efen"....sheesh
Are you kidding me? You should have punched. Repeatedly. It's the only way people like that learn.
I have never been the "pick-up" line type. Spending money on food and gifts is the only thing that seemed to work. However, out of curiosity... what lines do have the occasional successful outcome?
What could this guy have said to you LB, that would have made you take him by the hand, hide from the surveillance camera's, and make his fantasy of you come true?
Heinous: I said he was SCARY! And by "scary", I mean....scary.
FC: You know, the usual. "I'm out of work", "I wouldn't call it a drug problem", "I'm way behind on my child support", or the tried and true "Get in the truck, bitch"
Post a Comment