Anyone Miss Me?

Pfffffffttt.......we all know the answer to THAT (I'm surprised Efen hasn't called out the State Police or sumthin ;) !

I do offer my apologies for being absent for sometime now but seriously...I have been VERY busy with work and all....traveling all over God's green earth, or at least it feels like that. I'm not even sure what state I'm in right now ;)

One thing I've learned is that there are some extremely 'different' people in the world...and by 'different', I mean effed up...and not in a good way.

Yesterday I had two encounters within a 3 hour time frame.

Encounter #1:

I had checked into a nationally known chain hotel (and no Efen...their slogan isn't 'We'll leave the lights on for you') in a city I had never been to before. After getting all glammed up, I was ready to go out for dinner and maybe a drink a or two. I take the elevator downstairs and go up to the Concierge desk. Most concierge's I have come across, and admittedly there haven't been all that many, are usually older, distinguished looking men. This one, his name tag said 'Anton', looked frankly alittle 'scurvy' and maybe 35......at the most. I started off asking him about a nice place to eat, somewhere that wasn't too far from the hotel. He answered first with a 'smile', the type of smile that my inner-voice was telling me to just turn around and walk, no, make that run, away. But, I wanted to be polite so I stood my ground. He went through his little dog and pony routine and he did seem to offer a couple of good recommendations. As I thanked him and turned to leave, he leaned over and said in a low voice "Would you be looking for anything else?" WTF???? Now I had no idea to what he was referring but since he said it in this creepy voice that made my skin crawl, I figured he meant drugs......or sex, more likely in his case, both! Really...do I look like I need a 'fix'? Do I look like the type that would arrange a sexual encounter with a freakin hotel employee? Sheesh........ Ok, this did catch me off-guard and while I wish I could have come back with some sort of reply that would have left him feeling like I had just cut off his balls, all I could muster was "uh...no, nothing else"....with that snappy retort I walked out of the hotel.

Encounter #2:

Following 'Scurvy guy's' directions (and so hoping he hadn't secretly sent me off to be kidnapped and put on an ocean freighter to Saudi Arabia...what mascara can last in THAT heat?) I soon arrived at what appeared to be a nice place for dinner. The one thing I dislike about going to a restaurant alone is the looks you get when asked "How many?"......and you say "One". The looks range from pity (poor girl....can't find a guy) to disapproval (she'll probably sit in here, drink too much, then start crying about something). I certainly prefer the latter...which is exactly what I got from the 'hostess', who by the way was probably 60, had bright-orange hair, and CZ's on practically every finger. She then asked "Would you like a table in the lounge"? WTF??? Do I look like a hooker? First 'scurvy guy' and now this. Hmmm...maybe I 'glammed up' too much?

"Uh...NO, I would not! "

She led me to my table which was located in the furthest, darkest part of the restaurant (in case I made a scene, I guess).

Unfortunately, this was the highlight of my dinner. A nice looking guy but one who seemed very bored, brought me the menu....of course he had to ask "By yourself?". When I answered, I got the 'pity' look. Maybe being seated in the lounge wouldn't have been that bad an idea afterall. I ordered a glass a wine while listening to him recite the 'Specials', sans prices of course. Why do they always omit this piece of pertinent information? Is it like if you have to ask you shouldn't be ordering it in the first place? I passed on the 'specials'.....some kind of roasted chicken in a basil stew and some kind of pasta dish which had 3 names...and none of which I had ever heard of.

'Devan' brought my wine and I thought I was going to puke after I tasted it. Yeech...it tasted like vinegar. I quickly shoveled in a dinner roll to rid my mouth of that disgusting taste....and waited for 'Devan' to re-appear. I waited alright, maybe 10-15 minutes. Finally he shows up to take my order and I tell him about the wine. "Really....thats odd, I just served two glasses and they didn't complain". Okay, you're right, Devan...I made it all up because I wanted to see what a $8.00 glass of wine tasted like, for free. I turned down his offer of another glass and ordered my dinner...their 'world renown' grilled chicken salad with capers and poppy seed dressing.

Another 15 minutes goes by when Devan brings my salad......a grilled mixed vegetable salad.

Me: Uh...this isn't what I ordered

Devan: Yes, it is.

Me: (This prick is wanting to argue?) No, it isn't! I ordered the grilled chicken salad...I know that for sure because I wanted something that was 'world-renown'.

Devan: So, you want me to take that back.....too?

Me: (Getting very pissed) Ya know, I don't care where you take it or what you do with it....AND I have had better wine that comes in a paper bag. I'll just go somewhere else.

I get up and he runs over to the a guy who turns out is 'The Manager'. This ass-clown struts over and asks in a very condescending tone "Is there a problem, Ma'am?

I wanted to say "Ma'am this mfer" but I refrained. I told him what had occurred. His response..."Well, we do offer a very full and complete menu and people tend to get confused with so many excellent choices" Translation: You're too stupid to remember what you ordered.

I so wanted to lay this prick out (Jennaaaay...where are you when I need you?)

"I'm sure you're right. People would have to be confused to come here". And with that...I turned and walked out.......and into Subway for their oven-roasted chicken breast sandwich, which I brought back to my room, just in time for 'Real Housewives of New York City'. See, there is a reason that things happen :)